Useful Information
Resources
What is domestic violence?
It can be…
Makes you feel…
What to say…
Getting Help
It can be…
- Hitting, shoving, hair pulling
- Threats to hurt
- Bullying
- Putdowns, humiliation
- Blaming
- Mind-games
- Isolation from family and friends
- Expected to live with little or no money
- Forced sex
- Accusing you of sleeping around
- Checking up on you or following you
- Threatening or harming pets
Makes you feel…
- Physically hurt
- Frightened
- Worthless
- Hopeless
- Always frightened
- “Like walking on eggshells”
- Can’t trust others
- Isolated
- Sick
It can still go on even after she leaves… in fact often women and children are more at risk for some time immediately after separation.
What to say…
What can you say to a friend?
- Friends and family are often concerned when they know or suspect that someone they love is in a violent relationship.
Remember:Encourage, don’t lecture. Assure her that she deserves to be treated with respect. - Challenge her feelings of worthlessness and helplessness ~ there are things that she can do to help herself and her children
- The violence is never her fault ~ no-one asks to be frightened or abused ~ and she is not responsible for stopping the violence
- Physical violence and rape or sexual assault is a crime.
Getting Help
If you or someone you know is being abused…
- For the Port Lincoln region (see map on homepage) contact Yarredi Services, or
- Check local phone directories to contact your nearest domestic violence or other support service
- If someone is in immediate or imminent danger contact the police emergency line on 000
If you know or suspect that children are being abused ~ contact the Child Abuse Report Line 13 14 78
If you witness abuse against a child report the matter immediately to police.
http://www.adfvc.unsw.edu.au/home.html
AGM Report 2015 – 2020:
Click to read the AGM 2020 Report
Click to read the Audited AGM Report
Click to read the AGM Report Statistics
Click to read the 2016 AGM Report
Links
Alliance of Women’s DV Services in South Australia
1800 Respect
DV Clearing House
Aboriginal Family Violence Legal Service (South Australia)
Personal Stories
My Domestic Violence Life – A Survivor’s Story
A Survivor’s Story
A Survivor’s Story, a booklet written by a client of the Port Lincoln Regional Domestic Violence Service.
My name is Melissa (not her real name) and I am 36 years old. I lived in a defacto relationship with my partner of 13 years. Throughout the years of staying involved with him I had 6 children who I adore and protect with my life, but I paid the price of putting my children in a dangerous cycle of domestic violence in which we were traumatised, physically and emotionally and mentally, and he abused us financially so that we had little help living day to day.
We had no outside communication, being held as prisoners in our own home. He locked us indoors, no family members were allowed to visit, and even his own family wasn’t to know how he treated us. He had a drug and alcohol problem… he was coming home drunk and drugged off his face and would abuse me sexually every day and night. I can’t remember a lot of it as I used to shut my eyes and hope it would all be over. He would beat me and argue if I did not give in to him. When I did try to leave he would blackmail me and use the kids against me.
He would blame me for everything… if the kids were hungry we would have no money because he used it on himself. He would get jealous of his mates and beat me all over my body in places that he knew no-one would see my bruises. I would forgive him every time and h would say ‘give me one more chance’. I lost count of the times I gave him ‘one more chance’.
He was the father of my children but he had no love for them. He showed no love towards us. We loved him so much we endangered our lives for him. He would show no mercy towards us, only hatred. I wasn’t allowed to be sick because it wasn’t his nature to take responsibility of caring for the kids and he would argue about it until I would break down and cry. When he would come home it would be for an argument. “What the hell had I been doing all day, putting me down saying I was ?lazy and worthless”, I “wasn’t a good mother and I didn’t know how to look after my kids”.
He would put my family down a lot saying they were useless and I was never allowed to speak about them. My children were never allowed to socialise with anyone or talk to anyone about how we lived at home. Eventually I told him the relationship was over but he refused to believe it and said he loved me. I kept saying “No, it’s over.” I contacted the police, had a restraining order put in place, went to the women’s shelter for accommodation and had counselling for me and the kids. I moved to another house that me and the kids call home. We moved into the house with no furniture, but since moving into the house we love our freedom. We can move about whenever and wherever we want and I’ve got friends that come over and socialise with me and my family. I am in a new relationship and I have a full time job. I am also studying.
Thank you to Melissa who decided to share her story with others who, like herself, have been subjected to domestic violence. Her story is a message of hope that women can break free from domestic violence and move on with their lives.
Yarredi Childrens Wellbeing Program Feedback
Program Feedback
Two of our students have participated in therapy sessions with the Children’s Wellbeing Worker. She has had excellent communication with us via email to negotiate suitable session times to ensure the least disruption with the children’s schooling as well as making time to meet with us to discuss her observations and for us to share relevant information or concerns.
Positive outcomes we have noted for one client:
- Improved confidence with problem solving
- Increased trust with adults (we can work together, we will listen)
- A happier disposition at school
We believe that the other student has also benefitted from the program displaying:
- A more positive attitude at school
- More focused and showing growth with her learning
- Expanding her friendships and connections in class
We really appreciate the one-on-one play therapy sessions that our students have been able to access. We believe it has really helped our students feel “held” and benefited from a safe, caring opportunity to play, be “seen” and “heard” and feel they have had a “special opportunity”.
Letter received by Yarredi Services
Letter received by Yarredi Services
“I’d like to take this opportunity to express my heartfelt thanks to the wonderful staff of Yarredi Services, Port Lincoln. Earlier this year) I found myself in the depths of despair trying to think of a way to end my life without causing anyone else to become inadvertently involved… From the moment I was put in touch (with the service) the high level of professionalism, encouragement, compassion shown…is a credit to (Yarredi)… (resulting in) a successful outcome. Each time I rang or visited I found the Staff to be at all times friendly, cheerful, helpful… and I have no hesitation in recommending the service to anyone in need.